Time away from Mr J
by hoagie
Summary: Harley's Puddin is taken away to Arkham and her time without him takes an interesting turn thanks to an awkward encounter with the Bat. Intended to have a Batman the animated series feel.


Harley Quinn stared out the second story window of the abandoned apartment building she, the Joker, and three of his goons had ducked into. It had started raining after they had robbed a grimy little convenience store and they had broken into the derelict building to get out from under the rain as well as to avoid walking the streets of Gotham. Wearing clown makeup and remaining inconspicuous at the same time was nearly impossible for the group especially after they had just committed an armed robbery.

The heist hadn't netted them much cash but it had been entertaining and Harley knew that Mr. J believed that boredom was a greater enemy than even the Bat. Though now as a consequence they had to wait for the cover of darkness before they could make their way back to their hideout. Of course the darkness also meant that the B man would be patrolling the city, so the darkness was a double edged sword for the clowns.

Harley watched the sun fall from the sky till it fell behind some of the taller buildings in Gotham and cast the city in shadow. Since there were still rain clouds above it appeared to be night out before the sun had even set. With no natural light coming from outside Harley noticed that there were still a few dim lights on in the old building. She couldn't imagine why because clearly no one was paying the power bill, then again Harley knew firsthand how poorly run some of the utilities in the seedier parts of Gotham were.

"Harley" She heard the Joker call out to her. "It's time to go and I want to get back to the hideout before the flying rodent finds us."

"Comin Mistah J" Harley said as she turned to face the Joker and his three henchmen.

The men were waiting for her in the second floor hallway. The hall was darkly lit save for the two lights that were still going, one of which was at the end of the hall near the window Harley had used to peer out at the city. The other light was at the top of the stairs the gang had used to climb to the second floor.

As Harley approached her puddin she noticed that some of the apartments had been boarded up and closed while others were left open, seemingly lacking even a door. None of the open apartments had lights so each doorway appeared to be an opening an endless black expanse.

The group of painted criminals moved together towards the stairwell they had come from till a familiar thrown weapon collided with the light in front of them. Harley and everyone else had enough experience with the bat to recognize a batarang when they saw it.

"It's the Bat!" shouted one of Joker's henchmen.

With the path in front of them cast in almost complete darkness the gang of crooks stopped in their tracks.

"What do we do Boss?" asked another one of Joker's henchmen.

"Fire you idiots, just because it's dark, doesn't mean you can't shoot him."

Soon after the Joker spoke, the darkened hallway was lit by the muzzle flashes coming from the henchmen's guns. Looking towards the stairs and aided by the brief flashes of light Harley could see that the men were doing nothing but putting holes in the drywall. She knew the bat was too smart to just charge armed men head on.

Eventually the men stopped shooting when they too saw they weren't hitting anything. Without the gunshots the darkness in front of them returned and with it Harley noticed so too came an unbearable silence as each of them had stopped moving and speaking in an attempt to hear the Bat stalking around them. Harley listened in as well but could hear nothing more than the metallic clicking noise of the men reloading their weapons. Soon the sound of breaking glass came from behind them and the group turned to see the light behind them had been smashed as well, leaving them in near complete darkness in front and behind.

"He's behind us!"

"No he's not; the bat is just screwing with us."

"Shoot, you idiots!" the Joker screamed over his henchman before he and his three cronies began firing wildly in both directions. Harley ducked down trying to make herself as small of a target as possible. She didn't trust the men Joker employed and she knew from firsthand experience that her pudding had never showed much concern for hurting people that were on his side.

Doing her best to stay low Harley peered around the darkened hallway only to see a gloved hand reach out from one the open apartments and drag one of the henchmen into the darkness.

"The Bat's got Mikey!" Shouted the man who had been standing next to him only seconds ago. The two remaining goons stopped shooting to try and see into the darkened apartment their partner had been dragged into.

"What are you waiting for" Demanded the Joker "Shoot the Bat!"

"But Boss there's just as much chance that we'll hit Mikey as the Bat."

"Listen boys" The Joker responded in his inappropriately jubilant voice "It's really simple, kill the bat or I kill you."

"Right boss" The goons said in unison before they began firing into the pitch black apartment. Somehow a pair of hands reached out from an apartment on the opposite side of the hall the men had thought the bat was on. The two henchmen were dragged into the darkness; Harley could hear both men scream in shock and terror before they were both silenced.

Harley didn't know how the B man was moving between the apartments but she couldn't say she was surprised. The Bat always found a way to move around without being detected.

Seeing or rather hearing that all of his henchmen had been taken out of the fight, the Joker spoke to Harley. "Well, gee would you look at the time Harley. We really should be going."

"Right, Mistah J' said Harley as she did her best to follow the Joker to the stairwell leading to the first floor.

Before they could get to the stairs Harley heard a series of heavy footsteps come from her right before she heard Mr. J grunt in pain as he was tackled into one of the darkened rooms to her left. She could hear the Joker and the Bat struggle as she was left to stumble around in the darkness. Harley wanted to help her beloved Mr. J but she couldn't see her hand in front of her face and she was far from sure which apartment the two men were in. She could do nothing more than stand still and listen.

"Bats, that tickles." She heard the Joker say maniacally before he let out a childish giggle. A loud crack came next and the giggling stopped, bringing back the unbearable silence from before.

"Puddin" She called out nervously, but there was no answer.

Harley now knew that the Joker had been knocked out which meant that she was alone in the blacked out building with the Bat. Realizing that she was all alone; Harley felt a wave of fear come over her. Ordinarily she wasn't afraid of the Bat; it was hard to be scared of someone when you knew they would never kill you.

This was different though, the way he had used the darkness to hunt them done one by one had triggered some primal fear in Harley. Even as a semi competent psychiatrist she didn't fully understand her fear she just knew that her body and mind were screaming at her to get out of the building to get away from the threat was lurking in the darkness.

Putting one foot in front of the other Harley moved towards the stairwell making as little noise as possible. She didn't know if the B man was using sound to find his targets like his namesake or if he was some kind of freak that could see in near total darkness. Either way she wasn't going to make it easy for him so she kept as quiet as she could.

Harley's efforts went to waste when she started down the stairs as the old steps creaked under her weight. Silently cursing the old building, Harley continued down the steps till she stepped down onto the ground floor. Going off her recollection of when she had entered the building, Harley headed towards the front entrance of the building.

Harley stopped dead in her tracks when she heard the distinctive sound of a large piece of cloth moving. The sound reminded her of a large flag billowing in the wind or the black cape worn by a certain masked vigilante. She was sure the Bat wouldn't have made that noise by mistake which led Harley to believe that he knew exactly where she was and was simply toying with her.

Certain that she wouldn't ever make it to the door; Harley called out to the bat while she drew a knife she hoped to use against him. "I know your there B man. If you want to throw me in Arkham so bad why don't you come and face me!"

She was still scared but the anger she felt towards him for hurting her puddin helped mask the fear in her voice. For several long seconds there was no response but then a deep voice spoke from the dark.

"I'm not here to lock you up Quinn."

"Then what do you want Bats?"

He responded this time without delay "I'm here to set you free." As he said this, the main door of the apartment building opened and the light from outside shown in.

Harley felt an instinctive need to move towards the door but before she did, her curiosity got the best of her and she questioned the Bats words. "What do you mean free? I'm not in prison anymore, no thanks to you."

There was no response just silence like before. Although she was scared that it might be some kind of trap; Harley headed for the door desperate to get out of the confined darkness of the apartment building. She half expected the bat to swoop down and stop her when she set foot outside but it never happened. As she walked out to the city the only thing that fell on her were raindrops.

It was strange to her, being loose inside the city but without Mr. J to follow or take orders from. Harley had always thought of herself as more of a follower than a leader, even when the Joker had put her in charge of some henchmen she was still following the Jokers plans. Now she was free to do whatever she liked, the trouble was she didn't know what she wanted. A part of her was worried that the Bat was tailing her but she figured that if he wanted to stop her he would have by now. In all likelihood she reasoned that the Bat was taking her poor Mr. J and his friends to Arkham right now which meant that she should head back to the hideout and plan to break Mr. J out of jail.

On the other hand she could use this time to Visit Ivy, Harley missed her friend and this time without the Joker would be one of the few times she could see Ivy without consequence. Mr. J always discouraged her friendship with the red head as he didn't like the idea of his followers being loyal to anyone but him. Ivy for her part always tried to steer Harley away from the Joker's side, telling her that he would never return her feelings and that he was holding her back from being a more successful criminal. That part was probably true too; when she had partnered up with Ivy she had stolen more money than she ever had Mr. J. The problem was that the cash and valuables hadn't made her happy, the entire time with Ivy she had missed the Joker.

On second thought Harley realized that she didn't want to see Red or at least she didn't want to hear Ivy speak ill of the man she loved. It had only been ten minutes since the Bat had taken him from her and she missed him already. In the end Harley decided to just go home and try to think of a way to bust the Joker out tomorrow.

Harley's home or what would be better described as her and the Joker's current hideout was nothing more than an abandoned factory with some old furniture in it. The large building always felt empty to Harley but without the Joker or any of his other associates the empty feeling was only intensified. Harley washed off the clown makeup the rain hadn't on her way home before she sat in the makeshift living area that the team of clowns had been assembled.

While Harley tried to concentrate on how to bust the Joker out of Arkham, one question kept coming back to her and demanded her attention. Why had the Bat let her go? She couldn't think of another instance where he had let her or any other criminal go before. Maybe, she thought it was another attempt by the bat to make her leave the Jokers side. The B man like Ivy had tried several times in the past to convince her that Mr. J didn't care about her and never would. The whole letting her go thing was probably supposed to show her that Life without Mr. J was worth living. Well it wouldn't work, every time she and the Joker had been sent off to Arkham she had been put in a cell by herself and go weeks if not months without seeing Mr. J. Those lonely times had been painful for her, and the fifteen minutes since he had been taken from her had been no different.

The mystery of Batman's motives and the question of how she would free her puddin occupied Harley's mind till she felt herself begin to tire. Eventually she gave in and decided to go to sleep, hoping that a nights rest would give her the clarity she needed for tomorrow.

Harley's plan to free the Joker the next day had changed to Harley's plan to free the Joker next week. When Harley had thought about it she realized that it would be next to impossible for her to rescue Mr. J by herself, she needed help fighting her way in and out of the Asylum. She knew a few small time crooks that would normally help her, but going into Arkham was a different story. The criminals of Gotham spent most of their time avoiding a trip to Arkham, so getting anyone to come with her voluntarily would require a generous payment.

Money was not something Harley had in good supply, the store robbery a week ago hadn't given them much cash and the Joker had been carrying most of it when the Bat got him. This meant that she would have to steal a large amount of cash on her own. The fact that she was alone made her nervous; she had robbed many banks and stores before but she had pretty much always been following the jokers lead. Even the few heists she had done without him she had been partnered up Ivy. Harley knew the red head wouldn't help her with this one, not when most of the cash would be going towards freeing the Joker. About the only thing Harley had going in her favor was the large amount of guns and explosives the Joker had left lying around his hideout, she wouldn't have a shortage of firepower that was for sure.

Harley decided that if she was going to rob something she might as well go after a bank to make sure she got enough money for her purposes. Most of the week since her run in with the Bat had been spent casing the bank, after a few days of observation she had learned on what days of the week the vault would be open. If she struck at the right time she would be able to waltz her way into the bank, force her way past the counter and steal hundreds of thousands of dollars in a manner of minutes. She even figured out an escape plan using the back exit that lead to a very dark and secluded alleyway. If she planted a few surprise explosives and traps beforehand she was sure she could get away from the cops. Vigilantes dressed like giant bats might be another matter but she would cross that bridge when she got to it.

The day for the heist had come and Harley stood outside the bank wearing a long coat and hat over her usual costume. She didn't want anyone to recognize her till she was inside the bank; Harley knew that the hat and coat wouldn't help her under close scrutiny but it would help at a distance not to mention conceal the rifle she had slung across her chest.

Strolling into the bank with a smile on her face, Harley took off her coat and hat before she fired off a couple of shots into the ceiling with her rifle. The gunshots took everyone in the bank by surprise causing them to look towards the source of the noise. Once they did they saw the saw the infamous Harley Quinn and began to cower in fear.

"Alright people this is a holdup!" Shouted Harley as she walked behind the main counter and trained her weapon towards the tellers behind it. "Nobody try and be a hero and I won't have to shoot ya." Taking off an empty duffle bag she had worn across her back, Harley tossed it at the feet of a female teller. "Fill that bag up toots."

The woman picked up the bag and replied "O.K just don't shoot me" nervously.

"Hurry up and don't make me" Said Harley as she gestured towards the bank vault with the barrel of her rifle.

"And don't try anything funny like those paint bomb things, got it?"

The woman in the bank vault just gave out another nervous "O.K"

Harley looked around the bank with a smile still on her face while she waited for her money. The cops hadn't shown up yet and everyone in the building looked terrified which meant they were unlikely to try anything stupid. She had to say this whole venture was a lot of fun, not as fun as it would be if her puddin was with her but still fun. Plus this brought her one step closer to breaking him out of jail, she could only dream of how happy he would be with her once she busted him out of Arkahm.

The sound of police sirens brought her out of her daydreams." You wana hurry up with my money toots" Harley called out when she realized the cops were closing in.

The woman came out of the bank vault carrying the obviously heavy duffle bag across the floor. Harley took a quick look inside the bag to see that it was actually full of cash before she picked it up and slung it across her back with a level of ease that shocked the female Teller. Harley had of course spent years helping the Joker lug around his bizarre contraptions and weapons; so the bag of cash was an easy load for her to bear.

With the cash on her person Harley headed for the back door that lead to an alleyway behind the bank. She wasn't sure if the cops were on her yet but Harley decided to set off the explosives she had planted beforehand. The bombs went off causing a shockwave strong enough to rattle Harley's teeth as she fled. The bombs left a wall of fire behind her making it impossible for anyone to follow her through the alley.

The fire however did little to stop the Batman as he moved across the city along the rooftops. Harley wasn't aware of the bats presence until a batarang was wedged into the side of her rifle, blocking the movement of the charging handle and rendering the weapon useless. The next thing Harley knew, the Bat had jumped down from the rooftops and was standing in front of her, blocking her only way out of the alley. It was much earlier in the day than any other time Harley had seen the Bat, but that didn't change the fact that he was now an obstruction to her.

"Ya know I was using that, B man." Harley said in frustration as she threw her now worthless rifle to the ground. The bat didn't say anything in return, just glared at her.

"What do ya want bats? I thought ya said said you were gonna set me free."

As before the Batman didn't speak but instead gave her his typical stoic hero look. There was something to his face though; Harley had seen this look of his many times before and this time was different. It looked to her like an act; something was distracting the Bat, though she didn't know what.

With this observation came the memory of the knife she had on her. Normally she knew that she would stand little chance of putting the blade to use against him, but standing there in front of her the Bat looked vulnerable to Harley. She didn't really want to hurt the Bat but if he tried to stop her from getting away with the money and freeing her puddin she would.

"When I said set you free, I meant free from the Joker not free to rob banks." When the Bat finally spoke it surprised Harley, partly because of the obvious frustration in his voice but also because she had been right about Batman's motivations for letting her go. Harley felt her confidence surge; if she could get inside the Bats head then maybe she could get past him now.

Harley inched towards the Bat trying to look as nonthreatening as she could. She knew that the closer she got to him the less time he would have to react to her drawing a knife, but Harley also knew that just getting close wouldn't be enough, she needed to make sure he stayed distracted.

"B man, why do you care so much about whether I'm with Mista J?" Said Harley as she reached behind her and slowly drew her knife from its sheath.

"Because I believe you can be saved and the last thing I need is for the Joker to have an accomplice that's unassuming and cute enough to just walk into a police station and have no one recognize her because she's not wearing her costume."

Once again Harley was caught off guard by what the Bat said, if she didn't know any better she could have sworn the B man had just called her cute. Seeing an opportunity to get away from the bat without having to use violence; Harley slid her knife back into its sheath. Harley had over the course of her life and criminal career, learned how to manipulate men. Doing so had helped her earn her PHD as well as break out of Arkahm a few times. There was sweetness to her that a lot supposed tough guys found irresistible and seeing how the Bat was in the end only a man, Harley decided to try her luck.

Stepping forward and bringing herself within inches of the Bat, Harley was surprised when she reached out to touch him and he did nothing to stop her.

"Did you just call me cute Batsy?" Harley cooed before she pressed her body up against his, an action that Harley knew that men always liked. The Bat didn't respond but simply stood his ground with his stoic look stuck on his face, though as Harley had seen before the expression on his face appeared fake. Harley ran her hands over the Bat admiring how tone his body was, while he wasn't her type (she preferred men with a scrawnier build like her beloved Mr. J) she had to admit that he was in amazing shape, there didn't appear to be an ounce of fat on his body. Another factor that came to Harley's attention was the Bats heart, she could feel his heart beat through his suit and it was beating extremely fast for someone that was standing still.

Taking it as a sign of the effect she was having on him, Harley looked up at the Bats face and spoke to him again batting her eyelids at him the whole time. "You know it's awfully early for you to be out B Man. You didn't come out here just for me did you?"

As per usual the Bat said nothing in return but as Harley looked up at him she saw something new develop. Though she could hardly believe it, Harley saw the Bats face tint red, she had actually made the Bat blush. Feeling a sense of power that raised her confidence even further Harley went in for the kill. "You don't have a crush on me do you" asked Harley before she planted a kiss on the Bats lips. It was a strange and awkward Kiss, not that Harley wasn't used to such things. The Bat didn't return any affection, but at the same time he did nothing to push her away. Harley for her part was enjoying it, she didn't have any feelings for the Bat, but he was pretty attractive when he wasn't jumping out at her from the shadows or dragging her off to arkham.

Breaking the kiss Harley looked up to the Bat to see that her efforts had the desired effect. He looked puzzled, stunned even, and Harley saw that now was her chance to escape. With a burst of energy, Harley forced her way past the Bat and took off running. Peaking behind her as she ran, Harley saw the Bat was still standing in the alley, as she had hoped the B man seemed unwilling to chase after her.

When Harley made it back to the hideout she felt a sense of accomplishment that was so strong she wanted to scream out in joy. Plopping the heavy bag of money on the floor, Harley began to cartwheel across the factory floor in celebration. Not only had she pulled off a very lucrative heist on her own but she had also got away from the Bat.

'If only Mr. J was here' Harley thought, he would be so proud of her. Then again she had kissed another man and not just any man but the Bat himself. She hadn't done it to betray him or for any desire she felt for the Bat. Harley had done it to get away from the B man so she could escape with the money and put it towards freeing Mr. J. Harley decided then and there to omit her run in with the Bat when she told her puddin about the bank robbery. He would never take it the right way so why bother telling him; the only thing that worried her was that the Dork Knight himself might spill the beans. Then again if any one of them should have felt ashamed over the incident it was the bat, he was the one that had been played the fool by Harley and she doubted that the Bat would tell anyone that the Joker's sidekick had seduced him. Harley felt a little guilty for what she had done to the Bat, not enough to regret it, but still she of all people knew what it was like to have someone toy with her emotions.

Ignoring what little human empathy Harley had left, she began dragging the heavy bag of money into the sitting area. Harley opened the bag to admire the stacks of green bills; the distinctive smell of cash wafted out from the bag and brought back the feeling of accomplishment she has felt when she first came home.

Once again Harley wished that her puddin was with her to enjoy the money too, but then she remembered why she had stolen the money in the first place and a smile formed on her face. She knew with this kind of cash it would be easy to hire some extra muscle to help her free the Joker. The joke of it was that Harley would soon find out that her efforts had been pointless.

"Honey, I'm home" she heard a familiar voice call out jovially. At once Harley sat up and ran towards the sound of the voice to find the Joker standing by the abandoned factory door. When he caught sight of Harley the Jokers usual smile grew even larger and he reached out with his arms to invite her embrace. Harley could tell by his face and his body language that her Mr. J was in one of his rare good moods. When he was like this he would actually accept her affection and even very rarely return it.

"Puddin" she screamed as she ran to him and jumped into his arms, letting him pick her up off the ground. While he cradled her in his arms, Harley wrapped hers around the back of his neck and pressed her face against his. Harley felt happy and content in the arms of the man she loved and she continued to cuddle up against him as she spoke.

"Oh, puddin I missed you so much."

Ordinarily she would have asked how he had escaped from Arkham, but it was pretty obvious when the Arkham inmate uniform he was still wearing was soaked in blood. In fact the blood was starting to seep into her clothes as well, not that it made her even think about letting go of him.

"Harley, my cute little clown girl" the Joker said as he carried her to the bleak factories sitting area.

"How did you survive a whole week without your brilliant Mr. J?"

"It wasn't easy puddin but I kept busy."

"Oh, and what did you do?"

"I robbed a bank and I was gonna use the money to help bust you out of Arkham, but here you are."

What little guilt Harley still felt for what she did to the Bat disappeared while her puddin was with her. She understood that now that the Joker was free, her bank robbery and the flirting she had done with the B man had been pointless and that if anything she should have felt worse. The thing of it was that now that Mr. J was back she couldn't care less, when she was with him it was like the world was on mute. Other people feelings didn't interest her especially other men's.

Harley's thoughts came to an abrupt end when the Joker dropped her on an old couch. She was disappointed that he was no longer holding onto her but there had been times in the past when he had just dropped her on the floor so Harley saw it as a gesture of kindness. The Joker began rummage around in the bag of cash Harley had brought home. His good mood seemed to be bolstered at the sight of the cash she had won.

"Harley let's celebrate my new found freedom" said the Joker as he held a large wad of cash in each hand. A smile grew on Harleys face as there was nothing she wanted more than a night out on the town with her puddin. Knowing him though, Harley realized that their night of celebration would likely land them back in Arkahm. The good news for Harley and her Puddin though, was that if the Bat tried to put them there she had a trick or two still up her sleeve against him.

* * *

Yeah, I'll go ahead and admit that story was a mess. It started out as a Harley/Batman story, but as I wrote it, I came to the realization that I'm more of Joker/Harley fan which explains the ending. I cant help but think I made Batman seem a little stupid in part of this, perhaps I'm projecting myself into that character, because I'm sure I would be a speechless idiot if Harley had her hands all over me. Anyway big thanks to anyone who stuck with this one to the end.


End file.
